Letters She Wrote
by FangtasticFangtasiaFangBanger
Summary: After a while at the Mikaelson home, Ziva sits down and writes a letter to each member of the team.
1. Gibbs

**The Letters She Wrote **

Letter One - Love, Your Daughter

_Gibbs_

_ Dearest Gibbs, _

_ They say that the first time you ever do something is when it is the hardest. Time and time again in my life this has proven oh so true for me. Today is no different. As I sit here and look at this piece of paper, I wonder what I could say to you to make things better. But, then I realize that is something I have no chance of doing. I cannot fix this, I cannot go back in time and change the outcome. As much as I wish I could, it's not possible. What I can do though is give you and everyone else what I owe you. An explanation. _

_ I know that I vanished, without a trace. I am aware that everyone is losing their minds trying to find someone that they will never find if I can help it. Just know this, it was necessary. It was what had to be done. I know what you must be thinking, that I left again because of myself. Well, that is not true. I left you all because of an inevitable danger coming back would put each and every one of you in. At the crime scene, I was taken by someone... and he did something to me. Something irreversible, something almost no one would believe. _

_ I cannot exactly explain in full detail, and I am sorry for that. Just know I have to keep you out of the hole, okay? Or, loop. Yes, loop. I have to keep you out of the loop. If you knew... one of two things would happen. 1. You would think I was insane, and wish to have me tracked down and committed. or 2. You would believe it and try to locate and kill who did this to me. However I can assure you that neither are good ideas, though the latter would be far worse. _

_ You and I have been through so much together over the years Gibbs, and I am not about to be the cause of any more suffering that I already have. Just know that I love you and I will always love you, for eternity. You were the only true father I had after my mother passed away and I just hope that you can mourn me, and move on. It will not be easy, but nothing is impossible when it comes to Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I want to say more, but I am not so sure as to what I should say. _

_ I mean, I could tell you that I am safe. I am not hurt. I have a nice home, and plenty of sustenance. I have people here who are not the worst company in the world. Just... please, Gibbs. Do not hate me. And, also... do not try to save me. Try to be happy, and live the rest of your life to its fullest. And do not let Tony push your strings. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Daughter, Ziva David _


	2. Tony

**The Letters She Wrote **

Letter Two: You Are So Loved 

_Dear Tony, _

_When I first came to America, and I met you... I would not lie. My first impression of you was... well, honestly, I thought you were a child in the body of a mid-thirties football jock. I did not think you had a place at any government facility, much less a federal agency. But, as I got to know you, I thought you were a nice guy, sure immature at times. However, I grew to love it. It was your contribution to a larger picture. You were our class clown, and that is something I shall never forget. _

_With that being said, I know that the last four and half years have been more than trying on everyone, including you. I do not care how many smooth lines or movie quotes you try to sell me to convince me that you're okay, that you have gotten past it, I know that I am not the only one who was affected by all of this. I am sorry for leaving four years ago, and I am especially sorry for leaving you again. But, you must understand that this is what I had to do. _

_Unlike your little movies, what has happened to me is very real. I am different. I could only imagine the laughter you would have if I ever told you to your face, so... I am sparing us both by not telling you. I know how you must have been spending night after night aimlessly tracing my cell phone, emails, etc. Each night, you would lose a little more hope, and gain a little more anger and despair. And for this, I cannot help but to feel an earth-shattering guilt weighing my heart down. _

_I am not saying that this letter is to lift that guilt off of my shoulders, because even if that was the invent it would be for nothing. It would not work. Tony, I will carry the burden of my actions on my shoulders, facing the consequences for the rest of eternity. And that is a punishment I am welcoming with open arms. And it is not because I am seeking another monastic experience, as you so put Somalia, but because I know that it is a guilt I deserve. I left. But, for good reason. _

_I left to keep you all safe, and I want you especially to know that I need you to stop looking for me Tony. You will not ever find me. I am gone. I need you to do something. I need you to grieve and get on with your life. I know that it is easier said than done, but I mean it. Please. _

_You are so loved, _

_Ziva David _


	3. McGee

**Letters She Wrote **

Letter Three - You Turn This Into a Book and I Will Kill You

_McGee, _

_I must admit that I know you certainly did not see this coming. In fact, I did not even see this coming, but I want you to understand that this is what I needed to do. I feel like I have said that line a thousand times already. It is the most repetitive thing I have said, along with "I am fine." However, you're one of the few who knew I wasn't, even if I said I was. However, this is one of those times that I need you to believe it. Because, for the first time I am saying it and it is true. Sure, I am not fantastic. And my situation is mediocre at best, but I am fine. _

_Timothy, I remember when we met and how awkward you were around me and how you taught me how to navigate the city. Soon, I was able to do so without you. So, I want you to find it in your heart of hearts to navigate the rest of your life without me in it. _

_As much as I know you would love to have me back in my desk, looking at you and Tony while you two bicker at each other. That is something I just do not see myself returning to, for one major reason. I know you are a man of science, technology, and logic. But just for a moment, believe that there is a world that you and almost everyone is unaware of, a world where certain entities and occurrences cannot be explained away. There is. _

_Beyond this, I cannot tell you. I would be putting you and everyone around you in danger. Please, understand that. I want you to find happiness and I was you to be successful, as you are right now. Do not throw your life away because I am gone. _

_And Mcgee... _

_You turn this into a book and I will kill you, _

_Ziva David _


	4. Abby

**Letters She Wrote **

Letter Four - Never Let The Job Change You 

_Dearest Abby, _

_I honestly think you will be the one person that I will able to be the most sincere with when it comes to what is said in this letter. When I met you, I thought you were different, eccentric, and even at times, freaky. However, despite our differences and disputes at first, you and I got so close and that is something that I value dearly. You have always been on my side, no matter how angry you were with me at the time. And that I will always love you for. _

_I still to this day remember that case we had, with the missing girls in the forest and those sheriffs. You remember the one, yes? I spread a tiny rumor that our forensic scientist was a vampire. While at the time, I thought it was funny, cute, and possibly plausible... it seems now karma is coming back to make me atone. Abby, what I am about to tell you cannot leave the confidence that you and I have, alright? _

_Remember when we spent all night watching those old scary movies? The ones about the werewolves and the vampires? And how you told me that if you someday met one you would try to help it live a reasonably normal life? Well... Abby, I know you were just speaking hypothetically but a few months ago, when I left, I was shown this whole other side of our world; a darker side filled with more unknown than... well... I know about. _

_Anyway, my point is... I was made like those very creatures. Okay, so, not exactly like them, but... Abby... I am part vampire and part werewolf. I am what's known as a hybrid. Half and half. I am no longer a human, which is the reason why I elected to not come back after being made this way. I knew in my heart of hearts that letting you guys live your lives marginally safer without vampire Ziva killing you was the best decision I have made in my life. _

_Abby, I love you so much and I am trusting you with this. And one last thing... _

_Never let the job change you, _

_Ziva David_


	5. Ducky

**Letters She Wrote **

Letter Five - I Wish I Had More To Say 

_Dear Ducky, _

_To me, you were like a wise uncle. When I met you, I thought you were a man with an intelligence surpassing his age by decades. Thinking about that now, I realize just how possible that is. I remember the times that I came over during my first few years in the United States. I would have dinner with you and your mother, and I swear I could never get enough of talking to you both. It was something that always seemed to bring me extreme happiness. _

_I also remember the times in which I was not so happy. I remember the times when I could not sleep for days after Somalia. The nightmares weren't getting any better, so I turned to you. I remembered when you would give me medication to help me rest and a glass of tea. Some of the best nights of rest I got my first half year back were on your couch. And the nights that I did not want to sleep for fear of nightmares, you always kept me awake with riveting tales that only an adventurer could have possibly lived to experience. It made things bearable. And for that, I will be eternally grateful to you. _

_However, even knowing you have doctor-patient confidentiality on your side, this thing I am going through now is not a confidence that I can expunge upon you. As much as I want to, I know I cannot. Not right now, anyway. What I can tell you, Duck, is that I will not be coming back, for a very long time, if ever. Things are shockingly different in my life now, and I am nothing but a danger to all of you. _

_I hope that you can understand the choices I have made, and respect them for what they are, my choices. Perhaps some day I can tell you more? Perhaps some day I can let that side be known to you all, and I won't have to hide. Although, right now is not that time, today is not that day. I am so sorry for putting you through this. _

_I wish I had more to say, _

_Ziva David. _


	6. Jimmy

**Letters She Wrote **

Letter Five - I Shall Miss You As Well 

_Dear Jimmy, _

_You and I have been working together for a really long time, and along the way you and I have become really good friends. I still to this day remember teaching you some self defense maneuvers and part of me hopes that they will come in hand someday, but the other just hopes that you will be safe helping doctor Mallard and that you will never need to use what I have taught. _

_However, I cannot help but to feel something needs to be said, not just to the others but to you as well. Not only are you a valued member of the NCIS team, but you are someone I care about. And as a result, you are one of the many people I am running from. You may be wondering why and believe me I want to tell you, but I honestly cannot. I am a changed being now and believe me when I say you truly would not wish to know how. _

_I just honestly hope that you can live a genuine life full of happiness. I wish you and Breena a long and love-filled marriage. And I just know that someday you will become the medical examiner I know you want to be. _

_I shall miss you as well, _

_Ziva David _


	7. Vance

**Letters She Wrote **

Letter Seven - It Was An Honor Serving You 

_Director Vance, _

_This is a letter that I knew I needed to write for things to be... officially official. Knowing Gibbs, he must have you keeping my desk empty just in case I make a miraculous comeback and things return to normal. Well, this is me telling you that I regretfully inform you this will not be happening. This is my permanent resignation letter from NCIS. I have written six of these letters before this one, and honestly, Director, this one is the most difficult. _

_I thought the others were, but no. This one has to be it. This is me telling you that I will never be returning to the employment of NCIS. NCIS, the place that undoubtedly kept me in the United States, and gave me a family dynamic that I never thought I would truly live long enough to have. However, I know that writing this is what I have to do. I am sorry, Vance. I know that I was a valued member of your agency, but I just cannot do this anymore, not now. I hope you can understand what I am saying here. And, Director, tell whoever takes my place that they have their work cut out for them. _

_It was an honor serving you, _

_Ziva David. _


End file.
